Monday, September 25, 2006
Disillusioned
It's ok if you start off as one of the worst or the weakest or the lousiest or whatever. It's ok if you lag a lot or rather 3 months behind. It's ok if you flunk throughout the first year. It's really ok. You've got a problem there, so you preservere and you slowly work your way up. You'd just crawl out of the pit you're in and reach for the stars. You just hadn't work hard enough, you'd tell yourself. So preservere and just strive on. Someday, you're gonna make it.
I fucking hate it when you're thrown back into the pit when you've worked hard to get out of it.
You put in a hell load of effort but the remunerations ain't there.
I haven't been this disillusioned for a very long time. It's damn painful when a competitive shit like me loses all the fighting spirit i had.
Going out now. Lin said it's to celebrate children's day in advance. HAHA.
But i don't have the mood and i feel guilty or sorry when my mood affects others around me.
There's only math tomorrow. I tink i'll just hide somewhere, away from it.
You know, disenchantment is the worst thing that could ever happen.
No, you wouldn't know.