Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Tact
You can't really freely speak what's on your mind. There's this thing called tact and sensitivity.
You can't express pleasure and displeasure out very openly, mainly because there will be consequences which you don't know. Its the fear of the unknown which makes you unable to express yourself.
I am a bloody coward. I don't dare to tell people who means a lot to me how important they are and how my world revolves about them. I don't dare to say upfront to them how their little actions could affect me the entire day. I don't dare to tell them how when they're upset, i'd feel worse. Damn, simply because it's embarrasing to tell people words consisting of love and care.
Its the same. When i'm displeased by things i saw, i had to pretend to be unaffected. I can't voice out openly the very thing that had made me unhappy. I can't tell the person upfront that i think "you suck". Sometimes you had to smile when actually all you wanted is just to slap that person.
So much for freedom of expression, eh?
When you made me smile in the past, the smile would extend all the way up into a grin and my eyes would crinkle up. Now, it could barely reach my eyes.
I was just thinking. Do honeymoons last? Somehow when 2 snakes are put together, they'll probably end up killing each other in the end. I am watching with bated breath. Prove me wrong.
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space
Hate me today Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so for all the things i didn't do for you
Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you