Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Whew, i thought i lost my handphone, but it was with Joei all along. Ha, that forgetful girl, play until she forgot about it and brought it home. I really felt pangs of panic when i thought i lost it.But that's because there's some important stuff in that phone, at least to me.
I shall let you in on one of my small little secrets. i have something abt deleting my smses. bet you'll think its quite weird for smses to have sentimental value of any sort..but yeah, i try to keep as many of them as i can, till my inbox is flooded and i cant receive any more smses. then i'll look through them and sort them out, mentally sorting them under a "My happy file" and the rest i'll delete them.
i like reading through all these saved messages. on the train ride home, when im alone and bored, i'll take the hp out, and read them. it makes my day, really (: various msges fr various people, spanning truout the entire year. there's the "ponning school tomolo?", then the "going for training?.." , " Hope you get 100 marks for promos", "Have fun in Thailand!" etcetc...there are the complaints of old classmates abt their new jc, invitations to pon lectures,outings, kboxing..i mean, u get the idea. basically i save everything that makes me smile, makes me feel loved and happy and blessed to be in this world where everyone in the world cares.
sometimes i save sad messages too. just as a reminder not to commit tt same mistake again..
it's pretty interesting when you read the saved msges, and look back at how things turned out. its like looking back at photos. it helps u recall the sequence of events and things that happened, and how u've grown from then to what u are presently. when you read them, you think abt how you felt at that point of time,and what the outcome was. and then it makes u reflect whether or not the what you felt then was worth the while, or whether or not you did the right thing at that point of time.
but theres a limit to the no. of msges the phone can store. 150?? im constantly deleting some here, some there. its hard to choose which to delete smtimes, since all mean smthing to me. right now it reached its limit again. i have that blinking msg-box--pic-thing indicating to me tt my mailbox is full. but i cant find anymore msges tt i can bear to delete. i was even thinking of copying them out in my journal so tt i can delete them! but no la, im not that mad. maybe i'll close my eyes and mindlessly press the delete button so tt i wont know what im deleting :) i hope tt doesnt sound like nonsense.
its quite disgusting isnt it? the extent of it. why am i doing this? is it a bad thing? its painfully childish keeping small little remnants of the past..not to mention, a waste of time. i never like letting memories fade- be it good or bad; its like im clinging on to something. its almost pathetic. i keep wanting to keep the good times alive in my mind, just in case the future isnt so pretty as the past. perhaps, on days when you are down, memories of the good times before will give you the strength to keep on going? (btw, does it make me optimistic or pessimistic then?) oh, i dont know how to put it, does it make sense to you??
I think memories are the sort of stuff that makes you who you are right now. and yeah, i will treasure each and everyone of them.
People come and go. Those whom you love changes sometimes and some left, or just drifted away. Yeah, we all know the fact that nothing lasts forever. So when the need to end comes, you just gotta let it go. Though, there's no need to be sad. Memories are kept alive. At least there's still the smses, emails, tags, greeting cards and what-nots.